Bending and Breaking
by Wryder A
Summary: Colonel Riza Hawkeye was just working on paperwork when a pissed Eden Elric stormed into the office. That, the Colonel could handle. But add a dazed Lieutenant Mustang to the scene, and eyebrows will be in danger. Threeshot, Genderbent Fem!Ed and Male!Winry, Edwin, and Royai with a little role reversal.


**The long awaited, much anticipated story has arrived!**

**I keep seeing these sketches of Royai role reversal, so I decided to get in on the fun. And what better way to do that then to write a story, but mix in our favorite genderbent couple, Eden and Winter?**

**A few things to clear up before you begin:**

**This is a three shot. Expect more.**

**A few headcanons about this universe: Roy still grew up with Madam Christmas, and Riza with her father. Riza still got the tattoo, and had to decipher it herself. They first met as childhood friends, when Roy went with one of his 'sisters' on a business trip to Riza's hometown. Madam Christmas thought Roy should have some sort of skill, so she taught him how to shoot young. He decided to join the military just before Ishval, and when Riza learned where he went she followed. Roy cared for Riza after she burned her own back.**

**Seeing the corruption of the government, Roy decides that they need to fix it, and comes up with a brilliant plan to push Riza to the top. Riza, seeing the wisdom and willing to risk everything for Roy's vision of the future, agrees. Roy still has the 'player' image, but it's to keep up his information network through his 'sisters', just like in the anime. Well, most of the time, anyway.**

**Using his information networks, Roy discovered the Elrics and advised Eden to become a State Alchemist. He wasn't expecting anything to come of it, but a year later Eden shows up and demands to take the test. Riza is not pleased, but decides to shelter Eden as best she can by becoming her superior officer.**

**Since Eden is a girl and Riza is the commanding officer, they have more of a mentor/student or older, wiser sibling relationship. As women in the military, I'm sure they've had to stick close. As for Roy, Eden still hates his guys, but in more of an annoying older brother way.**

**Now that's out of the way, enjoy!**

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_BANG._

Colonel Riza Hawkeye, renown Flame Alchemist, looked up from the stack of paperwork on her desk as her door was violently torn open by an angry teenager. "Fullmetal. Weren't you supposed to be back yesterday morning?" She set down her pen as Eden Elric flung herself onto the couch. "Where's your report?"

Eden waved her left arm in the air. "Not here. Some bastard decided to try and mug me yesterday. Speedy asshole. Got away with my suitcase. Nothing important, just my extra set of clothes- and my report papers."

The colonel sighed. "Try and mug you. Wouldn't getting away with your suitcase be a successful mugging? And I suppose this was a total accident?" she asked, fighting to keep the incredulity out of her voice and failing. It wouldn't have been the first time Eden had resorted to ridiculous measures to lose her paperwork.

Eden shot upright and sent Riza a glare. "Yes, it was. Trust me." At the snort Riza didn't even try to contain, Eden protested again. "No, really! He had a knife! Normally I'd take care of it, but he got in the stab of a lifetime. Look-" And she grabbed her right arm with her left, holding up and showcasing its uselessness. "Right at the edge of the plate, right next to the port. One of the only vulnerable places, and that bastard manages to sever several wires and render my arm useless. Hurt like a bitch. On top of that, my front plating on my leg is shot, and the ankle wont move. Win is going to-" She was interrupted by the opening of the door.

"Oh, Colonel!" came a sing song voice. "I brought you coffee!" And in sauntered a slightly disheveled Roy Mustang, clutching a black mug from which wafted the scent of mornings. "One sugar, no cream- Oh." He stopped short at the sight of the short teen on the couch. "Fullmetal. Shouldn't you have been here yesterday? And where's your brother?"

"Lieutenant Asshole. Like you're one to talk." Eden didn't even bother standing. "I bet you were sent to get coffee an hour ago. And Al's calling my mechanic."

The lieutenant opened his mouth to protest, but Riza cut him off. "Do I need to have you court marshaled for breaking conduct, Lieutenant?"

"Breaking conduct? How did you come to that-"

"Lipstick, on your ear," Eden pointed out. "Spotted in a mile off. And your shirt? Did you expect us to believe you just happened to run into a tornado on the way here?"

"Better then you. What, did you get run over by a car because you were too short for the driver to spot?"

"Don't call me short!" Eden protested, shooting onto her feet. "I'm not! This is average height! Average! Shut the hell up, I'm not in the mood."

"Your height isn't average. Not for the military," Mustang remarked snidely.

"That's it-" And Eden lunged, left hand raised in an attempt to strangle the Lieutenant. Mustang managed to jump away at the last second, sacrificing the coffee to raise his arms in defense. The mug fell and shattered against the hardwood flooring, but both alchemist and lieutenant ignored it.

Sighing, the colonel reached for the upper right drawer of her desk. Fist fights between her First Lieutenant and the Fullmetal Alchemist were common enough that the entire office had a protocol. It was, undeniably, the worst and simplest protocol of them all- Get the hell out if the way, and wait for the Flame to deal with it. Literally.

The dueling duo fell to the floor in a mixture of broken automail and fists as Riza grasped her trademark gloves, yanked on the right, and snapped. Flames danced across the room, targeting the space between both of her subordinates.

"OW!" Mustang rolled away from Eden and clutched at his face. "Dammit, what was that?"

"I told you yesterday, Lieutenant, that I would put an end to your bickering, whatever means necessary. Next time it comes off the top."

Mustang ripped his hands off his face and turned a dangerous glance towards his commanding officer. "Off the top?" he growled, still turning. Eden made a choking noise as he came into her line of sight. That caused Mustang to round on her, eye twitching. "What. Is. It."

Wordlessly, Eden undid her silver pocket watch chain, set in on the glass covered coffee table, and transmuted a mirror, before handing it to Mustang.

Mustang froze in shocked silence for about two seconds, staring at his now eyebrow-less face, before setting down the mirror and leaving without a word.

It took all of two seconds before Eden busted out laughing.

It took another two seconds before another figure burst into the room.

"Sister!" came the tinny voice from the hulking suit of armor now standing at the door. "What did you do? I just saw the Lieutenant bruised, eyebrow-less, and covered in coffee!"

Eden took a deep breath, sent one glance at the mirror on the coffee table, and was overtaken by laughter for the second time.

Riza took pity on the confused armor. "Alphonse," she greeted. The helmet turned to look at her with soulfire eyes. "Your sister decided. To get into a fistfight with my Lieutenant. I simply have him a… warning." She then sent the still calming Eden a look. "Eden was very close to the same situation."

That shut Eden up. "Oh hell no," she snapped. "You wouldn't dare."

Riza raised one eyebrow.

"Sister!"

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**Enjoy, and review!**

**Wryder**


End file.
